Main Page
  Episode Guide
  XF Newsletter
  XF Mailing List
  Email Me

  Official XF Site
  Official Fox Site

  Jokes Back to Prevoius Document

There is now A joke on this page! People that have contibuted to the jokes: Erin.

Q: What did Mulder and Scully say when they found out they had to go to a cornfield?

A: Awww Shucks...

Top ten things you won't hear on X-Files.

  1. Mulder: Ah, you're right Scully, it's all bullshit!
  2. Scully: I believe every word you say Mulder.
  3. Cancerman: Got a light?
  4. Krycek: I can take you!
  5. Mulder: LET'S GET PISSED!
  6. X: Can we talk?
  7. Skinner: Good job, you two!
  8. The Lone Gunmen: Let's go outside for once!
  9. Scully: By the beard of Zeus, what manner of deviltry is this?
  10. Mulder: I'm gonna be the best FBI agent today! Because I'm good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people like me!

Top ten things we'll never see the Cancerman do...

  1. Pet a kitten.
  2. Grab Mulder by the lapels and call HIM a son of a bitch!
  3. French kiss Scully.
  4. Switch to the patch.
  5. Read to pre-schoolers.
  6. Die.
  7. Breakdance.
  8. Sing, "It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood..."
  9. Hug Skinner and exclaim, "You're my new best friend!"
  10. Exclaim, "It's just 'Cancerman'! Not 'THE Cancerman'!!!

Top ten things Scully will never do.

  1. Lambada or disco.
  2. Read a tabloid for the articles.
  3. Watch 'Friends'.
  4. Wait to exhale.
  5. A nudie movie. (Whoops! She already did that!)
  6. Get in a steel cage match against Xena.
  7. Quit the FBI and sign up with Death Row records as Snoop-Scully-Scull.
  8. Join A gothic rock band consisting of vampires and become really pale and force Mulder to work with Tommy Chong.
  9. Take Friday off and go on a bender with Courtney Love and get tanked in Tijuana!
  10. Mulder. (Whoa!)

Top Ten X-File Cover-ups we'll never hear about because of Cancer Man.

  1. The New Kids On The Block sex change (Hint: They now call themselves 'Spice Girls')
  2. The REAL reason Suddenly Susan is still on (Drugs + Critics = Good Reviews)
  3. What possessed Schumacher to ruin the Bat franchise (The Devil)
  4. Why Mulder and Scully still haven't just gotten it on (Mulder's gay)
  5. How Kari Wuhrer went from playing sweet girls to psychotics (Possessed by Sean Young)
  6. Why she seems to end up in terrible movies (Pissed off her agent)
  7. What the hell Babylon 5 is about (Damned if I know)
  8. Is Pat a man or woman (Neither, it's an alien)
  9. Who wrote the book of love (Cancer Man)
  10. Who is Keyser Soze (Same answer)


©  1998 AV.
The X-Files (TM) is a trademark of Fox, 1013, and Chris Carter.
If you want to contart me, email me.
If you wish to go back to the main page, come here.