Title: Jager - Chapter One Author & E-mail: Jessica R. at spooky_1013@ibm.net Rating: PG for a few bad words (Put that bar of soap down!!) Classification: Um, XF/Humor Keywords: M&S Friendship, and as always, UST Summary: Mulder & Scully investigate yet another string of paranormal activities in the swamps & marshes of good ole' Louisiana. In this ep (and like every other XF ep!!), it's never just a walk in the woods. (So what else is new) Spoilers: Ney Archive: Okay. Whatever Disclaimer: Sorry, folks, Moose & Squirrel aren't mine. They're the lovely creation of CC & Company. No copyright infringement intended. You'd better be lucky that someone with far more creativity owns these people, or else we wouldn't be wasting our time writing about people that don't even exist. But, yah know, that's the fun part of it. So take a back seat, and you can have Mulder & Scully back as soon as I get done. :-D -Jean Laffite Historical Park near New Orleans, Louisiana- The blare of chainsaws engulfed the whispering winds and the melody of birds as civilization crept up upon the surrounding area. Horizon to horizon, great cypress trees buckled under the pressure and succumbed to man. In the background, a figure moved from tree to tree, sucking the life from each one to fit his own. He stumbled over one of the many cypress knees, cursing under his breath and kicking at it. He decided this tree would go next. He spit on the tree, laughed, then cranked the chainsaw. All of a sudden, a blinding light stunned the man, and a sharp cackle pierced through his inner ear, shattering the residents. The man turned to eye his back, and one foot slipped in the muck, pulling him in. He tried to move, but it was futile. Sap began to drip from the tree into the man's eyes, blinding him. Then, the chainsaw cranked again, and tore into the man's flesh. He let out a blood curdling scream from within his darkest fears, as he was dragged down into the sod, the crimson, and finally, the darkness. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx -FBI headquarters Washington, D.C.- "Am I keeping you awake, Agent Mulder?" Mulder dropped the hand rubbing his eyes and sat up straighter. "Uhh, no sir, just catching up on my beauty sleep. Yah know, you'd be surprised what 4 hours can do these days. Just look what it could do for you." He gestured towards his face with his hands, smiling wryly. As usual, Skinner wasn't taking the bait. "I'm glad to see you're in such a good mood now, Agent Mulder. Next time, try parking your smart-ass routine at the door. Back on the subject of this case," --Skinner tossed Mulder a folder from across the desk--, "It looks like our boys down in New Orleans could use your assistance." "Oooooh, they want me? What's the occasion. Another UFO convention I missed?" Mulder glanced at the smoking tray, and noticed a Morley still generating smoke. "What's his part in this?" Mulder nodded towards the smoking tray. "Everything you need to know is included in that folder. The only request I have is that you & ***** 'and' ***** Scully try to wrap this thing up ASAP." Mulder stood from his chair, and started towards the door. He turned to face Skinner as he was about to exit. With a boyish smile, he added... "Your tax dollars at work," and left the room. Skinner leaned back in his chair, frowning, as usual. Then, CSM opened the door opposite the main entrance, and stepped out to face Skinner. He continued puffing on his cigarette, then smashed it into the tray. "Make sure Mulder stays off of the trail. If you don't, I will." With that, he took the ‘Thank You For Not Smoking Sign' from Skinner's desk, and dropped it in the trash can on his way out. Skinner once again expressed a frown, and signed, inhaling the ever-present stench of cigarette smoke. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully was hunched over the computer in the basement office, reviewing an article sent by an unknown source. The phone rang. She persisted to pick it up. "Scully." "I will only warn you once. Stay off of this case, or else the consequences will be greater than you ever could imagine. They'll know every move you make, and they'll hunt you and your partner down like dogs." "Wha...?" The only response she got was a dial tone. Mulder walked in with a folder in his hand. "Pack your overnight bags and plenty of mosquito repellent, ‘cause we're headed out on a field trip to Louisiana." Scully seemed puzzled, as always. "I just got a call from a man warning you & I to stay off of some case. I'm presuming that's the case file in your hand." "An anonymous call? Oooh, sounds interesting. Yeah, this is the case file. Skinner called me in to drop it on us, but not before telling me to wrap it up quick." "If what's in that folder has any connection to what's on this screen, I'd say this ‘field trip' of yours is just a waste of time." Mulder walked over to the computer, and stared blankly at the screen. -Local Veteran Found Dead In What Appears To Be Another Voodoo Hoax- "An unidentified source sent you this? Geeze Scully, who have you been seeing?" Mulder snickered. "I knew I should've asked for a ticket to one of those MUFON conventions. Can you print this out?" Scully sighed. "For a fee." She hit the print button, and within seconds, there was a copy laying on the printer. "You don't really think aliens had anything to do with this, do you Mulder?" Mulder smirked at Scully, grabbing the printout. "That's what we're gonna find out." He exited the room, leaving Scully staring at the door in dismal. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx -Flight 112 D.C. to New Orleans- The packed plane tested her compatibility of heights and vacuums. She hoped that she would get a seat away from Mulder, for once. But her hopes dissolved when she heard him quarreling with the flight attendant a few feet back. "What do you mean there're no sunflower seeds in coach?" "I'm sorry sir, but we distribute peanuts, not sunflower seeds." "Yeah, okay. Whatever." He approached the seat next to Scully's and sat, causing her to be squished against the window. "I can't believe it, can you Scully? No sunflower seeds!" "Must be another conspiracy Mulder. You should investigate it." She displayed a rare smile, and Mulder took note of it. However, when she looked out of the window and down, church was out. "Mulder, can we switch places?," she asked, her voice shaky. She was already up, as if it was now his cue to move. "I guess," he replied, scooting towards the window seat. "What's wrong? You afraid of heights?" He snickered. She sat and buckled her restraining belt, wishing she could wrap it around Mulder's neck. She decided to give him the famous ‘bite me' glare. "Don't worry. I've got plenty of stuff to keep us entertained." "That's what I'm afraid of," she muttered, returning her attention to the stack of case papers in her lap. A while after the last words were exchanged, Mulder got up, and returned a few seconds later with a box of cracker jacks. "Where did you get those?," she asked, taking her glasses off and rubbing the pressure point on her nose. "Or do I want to know?" "I stole ‘em from some guy in first class. Name was David Letterman, or something like that. But if anyone asks, I'm just borrowing them." He winked at her. Scully rolled her eyes at her partner's immature behavior. She put her glasses back on and proceeded to read the file reports. It wasn't long before Mulder grew bored again. "Hee Hee. Listen to the Scully. If you have to help your neighbor take the wheels off of his house, you might be a redneck." Mulder giggled, while Scully just shook her head. "I thought you said you had something to keep you occupied." "I do. Check it out. A whole book full of redneck jokes." "I'll pass." "Fine. Your loss." Mulder continued reading, and when he reached the bottom of the cracker jack box, he noticed there wasn't a prize in the box. "Hey! What a rip-off! Where's the prize?" He continued to act clueless and puzzled, until Scully realized it was her cue to say something. "What are you sitting on then?" "Oh. So that's what I was sitting on!" He reached under his rear and brought up a gadget wrapped in plastic. "Here. You owe me." He handed it to Scully. She took the plastic covered object out of its wrapper, and couldn't help but smile when she discovered it was a hot pink plastic ring. "You're good Mulder. Just what I wanted for my 5th birthday." She leaned back in her seat with a smile of approval as she watched Mulder out of the corner of her eye return to his redneck jokes. Her last memories were of the muffled sounds of passengers conversing, of the quiet humming of the plane engine, and about the way she'd felt after receiving the ring. *Maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad after all,* she decided, before drifting off. The first thing she heard was the hushed cursing emitted by Mulder. She opened her eyes, and light engulfed the once-dark terrain. She realized why Mulder was angry. His legs had been cramped during the flight, and now they were sore from lack of space. She managed a smile at the humorous approach of Mulder limping all of the place. He noticed she was awake, and took note of it. "Gotta love coach," he said with a groan, as they exited the plane. "We should be meeting with one of many L.D.s in a few hours. How about we grab a hotel room." "Sounds welcoming. What are L.D.s?" "Duh. I didn't buy that redneck book for nothing. It's an abbreviation for ‘Louisiana's Dumbest. Hey, it fits." He nodded to a group of cajun people dancing around the front of the rental car agency. "Try to hurry Scully, or I might have to use my gun on these people." "As long as I don't use it on myself first." She hurried into the rental car agency, trying to beat the crowd of hicks, sporting her hot pink plastic ring. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx 0226_spooky-1013-ibm-net_jager1.txt